What We've Left Behind
Three years ago my whole life was different. I had lived in Portland for over 20 years and built a career in design and marketing. My world revolved around the management of creativity. I’d find pockets for myself but for the most part I was moving through days as you would expect. Early mornings, business casual, emails and takeout on the way home to hibernate until the next day started. I’d built a beautiful community around my skillset as a manager.
As years moved on, creativity took a backseat and anxiety, panic attacks and burnout stepped in as the driver. I’d built an egoic pride around my ability to put the work first. In the days when I was furthest from myself I used art as a way to stay grounded. I drew feathers first and found solace in the repetition of each individual vein. Over time I found other ways to abstract feathers into just the spirit of repetition.
in 2019 I moved from the city back to my hometown by the ocean. I spent every day walking the beach and over time found that steps in the sand had the same healing effect of the repetitive lines and shapes I’d been creating. My mind opened and eased and I brought my attention to my wholeness of senses. Now I was able to see, be present, feel the place on my skin, hear it wooshing in my ears and splashing on my shins.
Since, those moments of expansive time and miles of sand under my feet have been refilled with screen time and zoom calls I needed a new way to stay connected to myself. I explored ways to bring that sense of freedom and pure presence home with me. Could I recreate that sense of place? Could I strengthen those neuro-pathways that were created by watching the bubbles in the seafoam?
The work presented in “What We’ve Left Behind” in August 2022 represents what we have to leave behind to be present along with what the ocean leaves behind after the night’s high tide. The eelgrass on the sand begins to express this feeling of freedom. With moments of organization the strands of grass intertwine and dance with the ocean and itself. The shapes it leaves behind feel childlike, like memories of dancing in the ocean and splashing down the beach. Many of the pieces incorporated jewel and nearly primary colors evoking a sense of boundless joy. The joy the can only come when you have a whole day to kick the waves and no reason to check your phone or head back. You can just be.
